Why?

It is a question that I am going to have to often as a mum answer to my children one day... why this mommy why that... and am in a way looking forward to that. But even as I look forward to those innocent enquiring questions from my kids, it is sometimes heartbreaking to know that I will not always be able to answer it....
It is with a bit of a somber heart that I blog today. A very good friend of mine, actually my best friend since college days way back in 1996, is going through a personal journey of heartache and I really feel sad for her today. Her dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer a few months ago literally, and has steadily declined and today I have learnt from her that he is in a coma and there is not much time left. Why? Why him at the young age of 60 odd, why him before they (Andrea and Brent) have had children so that he could meet his grandkids, why has he suffered so, why was it so quick, why not others? The truth is there is no answer. As someone whom most of you know is religious / or as I prefer to put it 'have a personal relationship with God' as opposed to a 'religion' - cannot answer. Most of the time I am quite strong and quite happily accept that we cannot know the answer to all things in life, that God knows all and His plans are carried out in His timing for His reasons.
I still however ask this question for her, for Andrea, as my heart breaks that she will have to go through the heartache of saying goodbye to her dad, something that if nature takes its natural course we will all have to do one day to all of our parents. She has been praying non stop that her dad would recover from this and be able to have treatment, but it seems this has not been possible, the cancer was just too far gone. Today he is in a coma and not responsive anymore to them anymore.
Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers together with her mom who is close to losing her life partner way sooner than what she expected.
So these are the questions as a mom that I know that I will come across eventually within the period of my kids growing up... the explanation of life and death, what is important in life and what is not. I dont know all the answers myself but what is important is what you do with your time, who you spend it with and what you ultimately leave behind - not 'things' but values and memories and 'time' with those you love. Uncle Gideon our thoughts are with you and your family and thank you for raising two spectacular daughters!!!

The Bad the Good and the Excellent

The Bad news is I have been absent from blogging for a while. The Good news is that we recently had a lovely long weekend and that it is already Wednesday which means effectively 1 more day until the WEEKEND. And the excellent news is we found out yesterday that we are expecting a little GIRL.
In between all of that I have celebrated my 31st Birthday on Good Friday, had Joshua's first Easter and had my 17 week scan yesterday where my gynae gave us the good news. I think Clive is very proud he is having a girl, and I am so pleased to be blessed with both a boy and a girl. I could not believe how she has grown and she has the longest legs ever, Josh had muscular legs which you could even see on the scan but she has such long legs, I am still amazed that I have not felt movement yet, though apparently the placenta is quite thick under my nerves by my tummy and that is why. All is well and is as it should be, the next scan will be our foetal assesment scan which is the big one they do to check organs etc. Also had to have blood tests yesterday to check iron levels etc. as am feeling drained and tired, but something tells me that is more to do with being a mom to a toddler already....
So Hannah it is then, she has been Hannah since I was pregnant the first time, it is strange as we did not even have a boys name and I strongly felt I was having a girl, I didnt want to be too vocal as didnt want to jinx it or convince myself as that is what I wanted. But in any event I feel incredibly blessed. It is as if she was always meant to be we were just waiting for her to arrive, if that makes any sense. So now I will begin the process of going through the clothes I kept of Joshua's see if anything is unisex and I will more than likely donate the rest to Ubuntu House in Goodwood a home for babies. I cant believe I will soon be at the halfway mark of this pregnancy, it is really flying by.
We also said goodbye to Jack and Tanya who were down from the UK for a month - although didnt spend half as much time with them as I would have liked it was still great to meet him and catch up with Tanya. Am posting some pics of them and of Josh on Easter Sunday at home, he had the tiniest taste of the chocolate egg, but that was it this mommy is strict on chocolate and sweet stuff.
Wishing you all a enjoyable rest of the week and hurry up Friday!

Josh on the Hunt (not like it was really hard)

Hmm what is this mummy?

Chocolate for me ... no you can have it mummy

Me and Jack Carter

Me Josh and Jack

Tanya and Josh

1st Birthday

Ok so this post is late, but have been meaning to post it for the last couple of days.
Joshua had his 1st Birthday party and it was a lovely day. It was warm, there were plenty of children and this pregnant mom was actually quite exhausted as I had not slept well the night before. I had so badly wanted to make Joshua cupcakes with no. 1's on them but when it got to the night before (I had bought the ingredients and everything) and it was 7:30pm and I was still doing some party packs - I just couldn't face baking on top of that. So he didnt get them and I will live with the mommy guilt until the next party.

He was so spoilt and was finished by the end of it, so was I as I had a serious puking attack after the party - due to the heat probably and the running around and a particularly horrendous nappy that Josh had done which just set me off, so was feeling very sorry for myself.

I feel as though the nausea is tapering off and not quite as severe still feel ill a bit but not as bad.

On Josh's actual birthday the family went through to The Barnyard which I had heard of through Catherine for some tea and scones and for Josh to have a bit of a play. Catherine and Max joined us and we had a nice time, though to be honest there were more pigeons there than any farm animals :-) Clive and I took the day off for this as I have decided and hope that I can stick to it that Josh will not spend a birthday alone with a nanny and without me until he starts school. Although now I will have another 'birthday' that will have to be off for too at least the months will be far apart i.e. March and September.

So that is me for now work is busy, we are in the process of all that goes along with selling a home and starting in a brand new one again and have daily work so life is busy but we are blessed so till next time.