She is here and we are in love.... it is different to having your first but no less precious, it was a long road for me this pregnancy and to say that I am thrilled she is out is an understatement! It was quite a palava (spelling?) her impending arrival. I had quite a time with my gynae and had to make a decision as believe it or not... she was going away for the long weekend, exactly when Hannah was due, and she was also away when Joshua was born so to say I was 'gatvol' of her missing the birth and potential birth of my second baby was also an understatement.I had spoken to her on numerous occassions early on in passing every now and again, 'dont be going away again for this birth please' only for her to tell me at my 39 week check up she was going away! To cut a very long story short, I had to go to hospital on Sunday to have stress test as baby was showing up as 4.510 grams on ultrasound and I had high blood pressure and a trace of protein in urine which was a concern for pre-eclampsia. All tested fine on the Sunday and I called her office on Monday morning to discuss options: Which she said were as follows:
1. Wait it out
2. Induce
3. Caesaraen Section - due to size
I got the feeling that she was under pressure and therefore said I should wait it out - I wasnt happy to do this as knew that she would more than likely miss the birthing then due to her being away and if this baby was big and I had to do a C/Section then would prefer it to be with the Dr I had been with for my first pregnancy and now 9 months of my second. After a lot of deliberation and a few tears I decided on the induction, she would be induce only 2 days before her actual due date and felt she was at a healthy enough weight anyway and I really wanted to try and do natural birth again. Again was met by a bit of opposition but stood my ground and I was induced at about 9pm on Tuesday the 22nd September. Clive was not able to stay with me as the maternity and labour wards were full they had had 11 C/Sections that day! I was in an observation room that held two beds and therefore he could not stay with me as both of us had to try and get some sleep as they said Induction can take up to 12hrs and were not concerned about me delivering that night any time soon.
I did have a pethadine injection early on to help with the mild contractions I was having which they picked up on the monitor when I first arrived (I had woken up for 2 days in a row at 3am in the morning with bad menstrual type cramps which I wasnt sure if was Braxton Hicks - as did not have this with Josh initially as my waters broke with him first.) I had the gel for the induction and Clive duly left and so started getting more cramps nothing unbearable though... the poor woman next to me - it was her first pregnancy and she said that I was scaring her, so the nurses decided in order to let her get some rest they were going to move me into a labour ward where I could sleep. Not sure what time that was probably around midnight or so...I also remember my waters breaking whilst on the bed and then close your eyes ...TMI coming up.. felt though I needed to go to the loo for a no.2 and luckily the nurse said wait let me check if you have dilated... exactly the same scenario as Joshua's birth..she almost had a heart attack and said to the other midwife..call Doctor now shes fully dilated she can see the head. LOL... I said can I call my husband? So I call and so my husband doesnt answer.....so I call again, by this time I felt a bit out of it as I was tired and having bad contractions he answers but very groggily, I say get to the hospital NOW he answers nochantly ok and puts phone down, I picture him thinking he is dreaming and going back to sleep... I remember having the gas (which is wonderful) and that was the only thing helping me keep her until Doctor and Clive got there, which felt like 5 minutes later, they both ran through the doors together apparently. I do not exaggerate and Clive can bear as my witness that he got there and I pushed twice and she was there...Thank Goodness for that! It was all a bit of blur to be quite honest the quickness in which everything happened.... I am just glad that she arrived safe and sound and that I got the birth that I wanted and there was no need for an emergency C/Section. I told my gynae in my post birth haze she could go on holiday now.... lol!
Hannah looks so much like Josh did at birth it is scary and though she was a lot bigger (Josh was born 3.67kg) she seems finer / more petite I suppose. As I mentioned it is different with your second not as emotional and awe struck but in the 4 days that she has been here I have felt my love and bond grow with her, she knows my voice and looks directly at me from close up and it is amazing how quick you forget and how quick they grow ..so it is lovely to experience it all again.
The only downside has been for me my sadness at losing a bit of my connection with Josh, he is out of sorts as he would be, it is horrible, I hated being away from him while in hospital, I know it gave him and his dad time to bond as he has always been 'mummy's boy' but I feel so sad in my heart that he may be hurting a bit that I cant be with him all the time as I have another baby to look after and nurture and feed...(all the time). So my heart is sore on that front and he has been playing up I can only hope to try and create special mum and Josh times which is difficult in the first week but am determined to as I dont want him to feel any less loved. I suppose it is one of lifes hard lessons, it is not all about us and we cannot have the world revolve around us only, we are here to be apart of a family and have to share our emotions and our time with others.
So thats us for now we had two nightmare nights with both kids being up on Saturday night for half the night the one set the other off and Josh is teething badly, so we have been a bit zombieish this weekend, hopefully we can settle into a good routine soon. We will keep you posted...
x
7 comments:
Congrats Nicci & Clive. I was thinking about you a lot and was happy to hear that you had natural birth, which is what you wanted. I think that Hannah looks more like Clive. She is tooooooo sweet for words. Hope that you are all settling into a good routine now. Keep us updated.....Denise xx
Congratulations both of you! She is lovely and well done on the natural birth, especially at her size! You seem to be built for this Nicci! I understand totally what you feel regarding the sadness around Josh. I spent the first 6 weeks alternating feeling guilty about not spending as much quality time with with Amy as I used to and guilty with not spending every moment with my baby. But soon you will get a rhythm going. Try and include him in everything you do with Hannah, which will also get easier as she gets older. He will adapt in time and it will all get easier, so don't worry. As for the lack of sleep, I empathise! If you are ever lonely at 3am, give me a call! xxx
Finally! Congratulations, she's gorgeous. Well done on managing to get natural right the second time around, especially with such a big girl! Hope that things settle down for you with Josh soon too, it's going to be tough in the beginning, but you will all settle down into new routines quickly enough. Thinking about you and sending lots of love to you all,
Susan xxx
It's amazing how the pics make them look so much bigger - she is such a tiny little thing really can't wait to see her again. Hang in there it will get easier I promise you. And please call me if you need me I am right here xxx Ron
Nicci she is beautiful. Well done. I aid to ron when she told me about your gynae going on holiday. "well no pressure then" its such a huge thing and you dont need the extra stress. saying that I think you did fabulously. I wish I had your pelvis!
You made me feel so heartsore about Josh too because I can just imagine how you feel. Like caroline said just include him in everything and have some little things waiting in a basket for nappy change times etc so he feels like he is getting a treat. I hope it all starts to settle.
I cant wait to meet her in 48 sleeps!!!!!
xx
love and hugs
Congratulations Nicci and of course Clive...she is beautiful. I remember the day Andrew was born like it was yesterday and when Wendy arrived about two hours after he was born I felt I had lost my baby girl and she was suddenly looking so big and grown up. That feeling soon goes away though. Sleep deprivation is the worst...just try and cat nap here and there if you can, but it is difficult I know. You feel so lonely at times like you are the only one on the whole planet doing this very hard job!!! Love and hugs to you all. Fionaxxxx
Well done Nicci and Clive. Interesting times ahead. It's not going to be easy, but you already know that. But all things do pass. Use the baby's 'slug-like' state to make it up to Josh. Poor little lad. He's learning one of life's hardest lessons right now! We looked after Amy when Nina was born and Caroline was in hospital. She was so traumatised. I could have wept for her. Good luck. You are a great mom and I know you will find a way around it all!
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