Friday, April 24, 2009

Why?

It is a question that I am going to have to often as a mum answer to my children one day... why this mommy why that... and am in a way looking forward to that. But even as I look forward to those innocent enquiring questions from my kids, it is sometimes heartbreaking to know that I will not always be able to answer it....
It is with a bit of a somber heart that I blog today. A very good friend of mine, actually my best friend since college days way back in 1996, is going through a personal journey of heartache and I really feel sad for her today. Her dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer a few months ago literally, and has steadily declined and today I have learnt from her that he is in a coma and there is not much time left. Why? Why him at the young age of 60 odd, why him before they (Andrea and Brent) have had children so that he could meet his grandkids, why has he suffered so, why was it so quick, why not others? The truth is there is no answer. As someone whom most of you know is religious / or as I prefer to put it 'have a personal relationship with God' as opposed to a 'religion' - cannot answer. Most of the time I am quite strong and quite happily accept that we cannot know the answer to all things in life, that God knows all and His plans are carried out in His timing for His reasons.
I still however ask this question for her, for Andrea, as my heart breaks that she will have to go through the heartache of saying goodbye to her dad, something that if nature takes its natural course we will all have to do one day to all of our parents. She has been praying non stop that her dad would recover from this and be able to have treatment, but it seems this has not been possible, the cancer was just too far gone. Today he is in a coma and not responsive anymore to them anymore.
Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers together with her mom who is close to losing her life partner way sooner than what she expected.
So these are the questions as a mom that I know that I will come across eventually within the period of my kids growing up... the explanation of life and death, what is important in life and what is not. I dont know all the answers myself but what is important is what you do with your time, who you spend it with and what you ultimately leave behind - not 'things' but values and memories and 'time' with those you love. Uncle Gideon our thoughts are with you and your family and thank you for raising two spectacular daughters!!!

4 comments:

Wendy said...

Oh Nicci I had no idea Andrea was going through all this. At times the world is such an unfair place and to find a reason is impossible. I am a reason person though so this kind of thing just makes me so so sad. My thoughts will be with Andrea and her whole family. What a tragedy.
xxx

Anonymous said...

A good but sad post. My thoughts are with her as one of the things I realy dread is losing my parents. Sometimes there is no satisfying answer and life is just plain unfair.

Sue said...

I the most important lesson I've learnt through life is that we have to live without regret. We need to love those closest to us, make special memories - you never know when it's your time to go. Thinking of Andrea...

Sue x

Anonymous said...

Oh Nics, I am only reading this now and of course we now know that Andrea's dad is no longer with us. I am so sorry for Andrea and Theresa and especially their mom. It is so sad and I just hope that they will find the strenth to deal with this as they go through the grieving process.. xx Ron

 
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